Becoming an Adult
Becoming an Adult Part 1
I'm not really sure what age I was when I started thinking of myself as an adult, but I do know there have been four key moments in my becoming an adult. The first was when I was 20 and about to enter my Junior year of college. The previous semester I had hit rock bottom when I somehow managed to get a D in one of my core Literature courses - Formalistic Criticism. (Don't ask me to describe the course. 20 years later I still don't understand formalistic criticism!) That summer I told my parents I wanted to either quit college, change my major (to psychology) or take a year off from school. Lucky for me my parents told me that if I stuck with it, they would start helping me out with my expenses. The first two years of college I worked 30 hours/week and took a full 16 credits, which wasn't a good combination. Anyway I took them up on their offer and spent the next two years concentrating on school and it paid off. For the first time since I was 12 I felt like I was really someone special again, at least when it came to academics.
Becoming an Adult Part 2
My second key moment was when I was 25 and decided it was time to stop drinking. Well not stop drinking entirely, but stop drinking to the point of passing out in the parking lots of bars. (I can't believe nobody ever ran me over!) I felt like it was time to grow up a little. I had a steady girlfriend, was working my way up the corporate ladder and honestly I was tired of worshipping the porcelin god every morning after a drinking binge. So me and two friends (Gavin & Brian, who are brothers - their band is Whale Blue Eye) flew to Florida for one last spring break. Over the next 8 days there wasn't a moment that I wasn't drunk or hungover. My memories of the trip are a haze of booze, vomiting, and music. When I got home I promised my girlfriend that I was never going to get falling down drunk again and to this day I've kept that promise, although I didn't keep the girlfriend.
A short aside about the trip. It was the inspiration for Gavin's song "Drunk as a Monkey" which featured this great line:
I'm drunk, drunk as a monkey
Right down to my simian soul
The song was Gavin's, but the title (or the phrase) was mine. I used to write songs when I was younger, but Gavin and I had totally different writing styles, so we never wrote with each other. Of course that didn't stop him from using some of my favorite phrases for song titles including:
Bad B Movie: This referred to my girlfriend at the time, who was kind of a drama princess. I would always tell Gavin that life with her was like a Bad B Movie and he turned it into a song.
Overacting all the time
Dramatic to the closing line
If your life was on the screen
You'd be a bad B movie
The first time my girlfriend heard it, she pretty much knew it was about her. We broke up soon afterward!
My favorite song title that we came up with was "I Love You, I Hate You, Let's Dance". I'm not exactly sure who came up with it, as we were both a little buzzed at the time. We were at Lollapalooza 1 (yes I am that old!) and we saw these two girls in the mosh pit. When we first came up to them, they were hugging each other, then they started hitting and screaming at each other and then they started dancing! I can't say for sure but it's possible drugs were the cause of their behavior. It was the weirdest thing we saw that day, which says something considering the crowd that was there.
Becoming an Adult Part 3
The third key moment was when I was 33 and Alex was born. Up to that point I was unsure if I was going to be a good Father, but once I saw her for the first time, I knew that wasn't going to be a problem. Her birth was the defining moment of my life up to that point.
Becoming an Adult Part 4
And finally the fourth key moment was December 2002 when all hell broke loose and everyone ended up in the hospital, except for me. That showed me that I was strong enough to handle the pressures of being an adult on my own. Until that point I had always had someone to fall back on when things were tough (e.g. parents, wife), but right then I really had nobody other than myself. I could very easily have crumbled, but something kept me going. I think it was caffeine!
So have I finally reached adulthood at the age of 40? I really don't know. Maybe adulthood isn't a destination, but a journey. Maybe you're not really an adult unless you continue to grow your entire life.
I'm not really sure what age I was when I started thinking of myself as an adult, but I do know there have been four key moments in my becoming an adult. The first was when I was 20 and about to enter my Junior year of college. The previous semester I had hit rock bottom when I somehow managed to get a D in one of my core Literature courses - Formalistic Criticism. (Don't ask me to describe the course. 20 years later I still don't understand formalistic criticism!) That summer I told my parents I wanted to either quit college, change my major (to psychology) or take a year off from school. Lucky for me my parents told me that if I stuck with it, they would start helping me out with my expenses. The first two years of college I worked 30 hours/week and took a full 16 credits, which wasn't a good combination. Anyway I took them up on their offer and spent the next two years concentrating on school and it paid off. For the first time since I was 12 I felt like I was really someone special again, at least when it came to academics.
Becoming an Adult Part 2
My second key moment was when I was 25 and decided it was time to stop drinking. Well not stop drinking entirely, but stop drinking to the point of passing out in the parking lots of bars. (I can't believe nobody ever ran me over!) I felt like it was time to grow up a little. I had a steady girlfriend, was working my way up the corporate ladder and honestly I was tired of worshipping the porcelin god every morning after a drinking binge. So me and two friends (Gavin & Brian, who are brothers - their band is Whale Blue Eye) flew to Florida for one last spring break. Over the next 8 days there wasn't a moment that I wasn't drunk or hungover. My memories of the trip are a haze of booze, vomiting, and music. When I got home I promised my girlfriend that I was never going to get falling down drunk again and to this day I've kept that promise, although I didn't keep the girlfriend.
A short aside about the trip. It was the inspiration for Gavin's song "Drunk as a Monkey" which featured this great line:
I'm drunk, drunk as a monkey
Right down to my simian soul
The song was Gavin's, but the title (or the phrase) was mine. I used to write songs when I was younger, but Gavin and I had totally different writing styles, so we never wrote with each other. Of course that didn't stop him from using some of my favorite phrases for song titles including:
Bad B Movie: This referred to my girlfriend at the time, who was kind of a drama princess. I would always tell Gavin that life with her was like a Bad B Movie and he turned it into a song.
Overacting all the time
Dramatic to the closing line
If your life was on the screen
You'd be a bad B movie
The first time my girlfriend heard it, she pretty much knew it was about her. We broke up soon afterward!
My favorite song title that we came up with was "I Love You, I Hate You, Let's Dance". I'm not exactly sure who came up with it, as we were both a little buzzed at the time. We were at Lollapalooza 1 (yes I am that old!) and we saw these two girls in the mosh pit. When we first came up to them, they were hugging each other, then they started hitting and screaming at each other and then they started dancing! I can't say for sure but it's possible drugs were the cause of their behavior.
It was the weirdest thing we saw that day, which says something considering the crowd that was there. Becoming an Adult Part 3
The third key moment was when I was 33 and Alex was born. Up to that point I was unsure if I was going to be a good Father, but once I saw her for the first time, I knew that wasn't going to be a problem. Her birth was the defining moment of my life up to that point.
Becoming an Adult Part 4
And finally the fourth key moment was December 2002 when all hell broke loose and everyone ended up in the hospital, except for me. That showed me that I was strong enough to handle the pressures of being an adult on my own. Until that point I had always had someone to fall back on when things were tough (e.g. parents, wife), but right then I really had nobody other than myself. I could very easily have crumbled, but something kept me going. I think it was caffeine!
So have I finally reached adulthood at the age of 40? I really don't know. Maybe adulthood isn't a destination, but a journey. Maybe you're not really an adult unless you continue to grow your entire life.
Hi, Thanks so much for posting this blog. I'm a female in my late 20's and over the past few years I've been struggling to find my "adult self". but still seem to act and think in the ways of my late teens and early 20's. I have a few remnants of that type of behavior and I've been trying to shake it for the past year through making more wise decisions, setting higher goals and such. Although I'm in my last semester as an undergraduate student, I still feel like I'm very behind when it comes to living as an adult in an adult world. I was a bit mature as a high school student, never fought, didnt hang out in clicks, I wasnt a gossiper, or social queen, but I had a social life and participated in activites... Several of my friends now are moving on to the next stage in their lives, many are married with children or out of school and well in to their careers. They seem so confident and "grown". Often times I'm ashamed of my self and get depressed about it. but I know that as long as I keep moving toward my goals, things will fall into place for me and I'll feel a little more ...responsible..? accomplished...? Any way, I still have high hopes for myself and believe that I can be the woman that I want to be with much discipline and dedication. In saying all of this, i just wanted to thank you for this post, congrats an all of your adult milestones and reaching adulthood (smile).. and in the meantime I'll be looking forward to my own in the very near future! Be blessed.
Brandy.
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