Every week my daughter Alex has to learn five new words for school, and as part of that she has to use them in a sentence. A few weeks ago the words were:

called
just
where
know
through

After helping Alex with her sentences I decided to have a little fun of my own and came up with the following five sentences:

I called you to find out if you have my cookies.
I just want my cookies back.
Where are the cookies you took from me?
I know you stole my cookies!
If you don't give me my cookies I will throw you through the window!

I didn't plan to do anything more with them, but my wife convinced me that I needed to share these bon mots with Alex's teacher! You see, she's convinced that the people at Alex's school haven't seen enough of "Not So Bad", only "Asshole" (see I am Twins). (School meetings and events tend to cut into my 8 hours of sleep!) So with her blessing I put the five sentences on the back of Alex's homework with a note on the front to "see Daddy's sentences on the back".

Well "we" got back our grade the following week. Alex got 5/5 and a smiley face. I on the other hand got a sad face. I think I'm failing 1st grade!